Thursday, June 30, 2016

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Name That Celebrity Drawing Quiz

Whoever can guess who this celeb is gets a virtual high-five.

Also, can you tell which one I traced and which one I drew from reference? Betcha can't!

Monday, June 27, 2016

BYU is Finally Updating the Y to "Helvetica" Font

It's about time!

After Brigham Young University's recent purchase of Y Mountain from the Forest Service, Administers have officially announced their first order of action. Citizens of Provo, UT will soon look up to a much more aesthetically pleasing consonant. BYU students are especially pleased at the news, after decades of a government-forced, obsolete typeface desecrating our favorite mountain.

"Finally," said Graphic Design major Thomas Crean, "I'm going to feel cool again when I tell people I go to BYU."

When the new typeface was put up to a vote, Helvetica won with 99.2% (Comic Sans and Papyrus received less than one percent of the vote).  "Helvetica is the most ideal font for our needs " said BYU President Kevin J Worthen, "We're planning on surrounding the Y with permanent lights, and they're so much more easy install with those huge serifs out of the way."

It's going to be a big job, but we're all looking forward to it's completion in the next few days.

See also: Y Mountain re-imagined as two other fonts and an emoji.

Y Mountain re-imagined as two other fonts and an emoji.

Ever imagined thy Y as different fonts? Yeah, me neither, but you know, ummm, Photoshop. Ok here we go.

Comic Sans

Times New Roman

Heart Eyes Cat Emoji

Well, that was fun while it lasted, wasn't it?

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

12 Things You Didn't Know About Guys



There are a lot of guys and a lot of things you don't know about guys. Here are just a few of many of them:

1 Guys have a removable left foot

Male human being have evolved to detach their left foot as a means to escape predators. Unlike lizards, however, their left foot won't grow back. Therefore, they must go back a retrieve their left foot, and reattach it. Today, with lower amounts of natural predators, this feature is almost useless, and some men find it embarrassing. Tall men who live alone will usually detach their left foot before bedtime for comfort, and others are known to remove their left foot for pickup street b-ball.

2 Guys eat high amounts of salt

Sodium controls the way muscles and nerves work, so guys need a lot of it. Guys consume an average of 37 gallons of salt a day. So next time you open the pantry and ask yourself, "Where the heck is all the salt? Where did it all go?" You will know the answer.

3 Guys are really good at pointing at things

Out of nowhere, you might see a guy pointing at something, or any number of things, and suddenly you think to yourself, "Whoa. How did he get so good at pointing like that?" It may seem unbelievable, but guys are just natural at pointing at things. If you ever asked a guy how he got so good at pointing, he literally would not even know what to tell you. He'd do his best and rack his mind to find an answer for you, and stress out and mumble incoherently in a cold sweat. Might even have a seizure. Yeah, better not ask him about it, just to be safe.

My dog just passed gas and it smells awful. It's seriously worse than skunk juice. Ah, I can't breathe! What dark magic is happening in his insides that has the capability to produce such a rancid odor? And how is he not reacting to it himself? If my flatulence was this poisonous I would not be able to play it as cool as this dog. It's still lingering, for crying out loud.

4 Guys think bacon tastes like chocolate

Scientist performed taste tests to determine why guys love bacon so much. So they sat down a number of ladies and guys, and blindfolded them all. First they fed them chocolate, then bacon, and issued a survey after the test. Most of the girls replied, "The first one tasted like chocolate, and the second tasted like bacon." Nearly all the guys told the scientists, "You just put two pieces of chocolate in my mouth. I don't get it." The control group, who actually ended up receiving only bacon, replied in a similar fashion.

5 Guys think odd numbers are confusing

Guys don't like numbers that aren't divisible by two. It makes them angry. That's why you don't see a lot of guys working at cash registers or banks, unless the store has a policy where all prices are even numbers.

6 Guys use robot clones on first date

First dates can be stressful for everyone, especially for guys. They don't like showing signs of fear, so in order to avoid that, they will usually send a remote-control robot clone of themselves on the first date. This is why first dates can be so awkward. It is because the controls used to conduct the actions of robot clones are pretty complicated, so it's fairly common for them to laugh out of place, frequently examine their surroundings, and spill food on themselves. During awkward silences, you can usually assume the verbal configuration is taking time updating new software.

8 Guys can't get out of trees

Guys can climb up trees but can't get down. If you see a guy stuck in a tree calling for help, he's not trying to be funny. Call the fire department.

9 Guys have a "why" chromosome

Something that may have gone over your head in high school human biology class is genetic mutation regarding the "why" chromosome. It gets confused with the "Y" chromosome because they both sound similar. The "why" chromosome is responsible for causing guys to do things that make girls ask themselves questions such as, "Why is he texting me to get dinner with him instead of calling me?" or "Why does he keep talking about his abs?" Trust me, they'd change if they could, they just can't help it.

Intermission part two:
My dog tooted again. I feel like I'm going to die.

10 All guys share the same recurring dream

While girls have various kinds of dreams, guys share the same exact dream of getting their teeth ripped out. That's why you think a guy is repeating himself, when really, you heard the same dream from another guy. They think they're having different dreams, but they're not, so just play along.

11 Guys hate Batman

Guys hate competition, so when you hear guys rave about how cool Batman is, it's safe to assume they hate his guts. Guys know that girls like guys who have a) lots of money, b) British butlers, and c) a black cape. They know if they talk crap about Batman, girls will stop liking them, so they feign interest in order to fit in. Guys find it frustrating they can't be exactly like Batman, especially when they are so close to fitting all the requirements. For example, most guys have a lot of money and a British butler, but they can't figure out how to get their hands on a black cape. Think about it, how often do you see a guy wearing a black cape? Exactly, they just don't know the first thing about getting a black cape. They have no idea where to get one. How did Batman figure it out so fast? It's frustrating.

12 Guys are allergic to metal

They aren't checking your left hand just to see if you're married or engaged. Guys get skin irritation and develop a rash if they get too close to metal. So that's why they act funny if you're wearing shiny jewelry. Also, not related, guys don't like it when dogs are flatulent.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Apricot Jones part three (3)

"Hello, excuse me, hey!"
Apricot recognized this voice as well. It was even more familiar to him.
"Indu Thyme, is that you?" called Apricot
"Yes, and I have Latr with me!"
Out of the long hallway came Indu, wearing a bear pelt, and Indu, who was carrying a bag of newspapers.
"I assume you've said your goodbyes to my older, younger self, then?" asked Indu
"Uuhm, yes, yes I did. You were a lot taller back then." Apricot
"Well, you know, his kind shrink over time." said Latr
"We don't shrink, we condense," said Indu, "big difference."
Apricot squinted his eyes at Indu, then Latr took his turn squinting at Indu.
"Ah, that reminds me," said Indu, "You have that playing card, right?"
Apricot pulled the Jack of Spades from his pocket.
"Excellent. Now, Latr, you have that seaweed, right?"
"Sho do!" Latr said, as he pulled a longish, slimey, twisy, green thing from his pocket. Indu took the seaweed and placed it on the card, folded it, and held it up to Apricot's face, who immediately waved his hand to keep it away from his mouth.
"Ew! What are you doing!" yelled Apricot.
"Eat it, Apricot! It's a sandwich!" exclaimed Indu.
Latr laughed to himself, "Sand. Wich. Ha ha!"
"Indu, it smells awful!" said Apricot.
"Eat it! It's a hot-dog!" Indu persisted,struggling to get the seaweed encrusted card into Apricot's mouth.
"Latr, come on help me with this!"
Latr thought for a moment, "Uh, eat it, it's uh, it's, uh, it's a taco!"
With that, Apricot swallowed the card and seaweed in one gulp.
"Ow! My throat!"
"How does it taste, Apricot?" asked Indu.
Apricot stood silently for a moment, somewhat delirious, smacking his lips.
"That was the best taco I've ever had!"
"You're welcome," said Latr.
Apricot rubbed his neck with his hand. "The tortilla shell scratched up my throat real good, though. That's no fun. Ow."
Latr shrugged his shoulders. Indu squinted his eyes. Apricot licked his teeth.
"Man," said Apricot, "did you put salsa in there?"
Indu's eyes widened.
"Well," said Latr, "I don't rember putting any-"
Indu cut him off, "Yes, he DID put salsa in the taco!" Indu grabbed Apricot by the collar. "Where does that salsa come from?"
At this point Apricot was getting pretty loopy and laughing to himself. "Who-dy, who-dy, whoooo. Weeeee!"
"Apricot, snap out of it!" demanded Indu, "Where's that salsa!"
Apricot's head was literally going round, as if his head was having trouble balancing on his shoulders. He raised his finger. "Well, it's not so much the salsa as it was the pepper IN the salsa. Or is was it a spice?"
Indu shook Apricot like he was a floppy, puddy man. "Spice, pepper, who cares? Where do we find it?" Indu demanded once more.
"Grumble-bumble." Apricot said, barely audibly.
Latr's head popped up. Indu un-clenched his grasp and looked down.
"Did he say Numble-pumble?" asked Latr.
"No...MUCH worse." said Indu.
Latr's eyes widened. "He didn't say Dumble-shumble, did he?"
"No... he said," Indu turned to look Latr right in the eyes, "Grumble-bumble."
"What?" siad Latr, "We can't go there!"
"We have to," replied Indu
"But it's the worst one! Why don't we go to Dumble-shumble? It's bad, but not half as bad as Grumble-bumble."
"The SPICE isn't IN Dumble-shumble!" yelled Indu Thyme,"It's in Grumble-bumble, so THAT'S where we need to go!"
Apricot burped, which brought him to his full senses. "Oh, man. That leaves a crazy aftertaste. I could go for another one, though." He looked up at Indu and Latr and said,
"Grumble-bumble, anybody?"

Thursday, January 21, 2016

Apricot Jones, pt II

The three men looked up at Apricot. Calm, yet impatient. These men were all scruffy, with short facial hair accompanied by some sort of smoking paraphernalia.
"You're holding up the packs, greenhorn." said another.
Apricot look at the Jack of Spades in his hand again, and then at the table, which had a Queen of Diamonds, an 8 of Clubs, both next to a picture of a Pig holding a trinket.
Apricot Jones was about to ask, "I'm sorry, I don't know how I got here, and I have absolutely no idea what game this is." but something altogether escaped his lips, "Grumbeth!"
The man to his left yelled, "Hogwash!"
The man to his right started ripping his cards in half.
The man sitting across from him declared, "call," and was about to hide under the table when suddenly the door got bashed open. A hooded man riding a horse entered the room. The horse yelled, "FOLD!" and the hooded man started shooting fireworks from two metal bucket-tubes strapped to the side of his horse. Everyone in the room was going haywire. Apricot instinctively put the Jack of Spades in his shirt pocket as the scruffy men ran toward the other door on the opposite side of the room. Apricot ran toward them, but they closed the door behind themselves, thereby stopping Apricot in his tracks. Apricot tried turning the nob, which wouldn't budge. He pounded on the door, yelling, "Guys, guys! Let me out!"
The hooded man drew a scythe from behind his back, and yelled, "APRICOT JONES!" The man removed his hood, revealing a middle-aged face with a medium sized, black beard. Apricot recognized the mans voice.
"Indu Thyme? is that you?"
"How do you know my name?"
Apricot was put aback for a moment, but realized he was speaking to a younger Indu. The Indu who had not yet met Apricot Jones. Yet there was something that didn't make sense.
"I've bet you before. Or after. Or something. But if you haven't met ME yet, how do you know MY name?"
"I know most people's names," said Indu.
Apricot's head started spinning. I feeling he recognized, but this time it came upon him more suddenly and with higher force. It seemed like his surroundings were getting closer and closer to his brain in attempts to compact it, to crush it. Apricot clenched his teeth and staggered, falling to the floor. Indu's eyes widened. Apricot yelled in agony as Indu lifted him onto the horse and galloped out of the room.
"Persevere, brother." Whispered Indu, "This, too, shall pass."
Indu and Apricot, galloped through dirt roads of an old-western town. Indu made his way onto the highway until he saw a wheat field. Indu dismounted the horse and put Apricot's arm over his shoulders and started swinging at the wheat with his scythe. Apricot was barely conscious at this point. Indu kept swinging, making his way deeper and deeper into the sea of wheat, until what was the sea became the sky. Suddenly they found themselves swiftly free falling toward a small, metal building in the middle of a gravel field. The longer they fell, the slower they descended, until finally they reached the building. Apricot was slowly regaining consciousness. His head still hurt, but not nearly as much as it was before.
"What happened?" asked Apricot, though he was slightly afraid the response would trigger another episode.
"I'm guessing you're body realm-jumped before your brain could catch up to it."
"So that's what all this nonsense is," Apricot thought to himself, " 'realm jumping.' "
"You must have been here for a few hours before your head caught up with you."
Indu unlocked the door to the metalic structure as Apricot followed him into the building. Inside was a series of pipes and tubes, connected to various machinery. They continued walking.
"What other realms have you been to?"
"I remember a forest, then an ice-world, a beach, and...and now here. The details are foggy."
"Don't worry, it'll all come back to you over time."
They walked toward a shiny column, with a tall door.
"In fact," said Indu, "the slower it all comes back to you, the better. Well, at least it's not as painful that way."
Indu opened the door to the column as cold vapor emanated from it.
"Tell me, Mr. Jones, Is my future self is the one responsible for all of this?"
Apricot nodded his head.
"Figures," said Indu, and he smiled slightly, "Well, I'm sure he'll...or 'I'll' be here any minute."
Indu turned to Apricot and sighed, "Tell 'me' I said hi."
Without any further explanation, Indu entered the column, and closed the door behind him. Through the glass part of the door, Apricot watched Indu strap himself into a large chair and pull a lever. Suddenly bursts of cold, cloudy substance surrounded him. Ice quickly built up against the glass and Apricot couldn't see anything through the glass. Machinery next to the column buzzed for a few more moments, and suddenly shut off. It wasn't silent for too long, when Apricot heard a door creak open at the opposite end of the building.