Wednesday, November 21, 2007


thanksgiving is coming up so i am going to say everything i am thankful for in 5 minutes or less: santa, Christmas, Jesus, God, candy, technology, airsoft guns, comedy, movies, cartoons, time, hands, arms, legs, America, parents, family, house, garage, flashlights, the sun, planets, fish, sea, penquins, shoes, bed, bedroom, games, friends, sense or smell, taste, hearing, seeing, x-ray vision, superpowers, food, money, music, garage door openers, can openers, pancakes, pizza, brain, sandboxes, bathrooms, outdoors, indoors, monkeys, tv, movies, frozen food items, grocery stores, elves, trees, mountains, cheese, candy canes, candy corn, syrup, sugar, animals, mice, baseball, sports, grass, mideval times, bublegum, family, toys, shelves, baskets, eggs, machines, wind H20, water, dihydrogen monoxide, circus performers, magic, rockets, rollerskates, roads, cars, oxygen, tiolets,....well thats five minutes. did you know the first thanksgiving was with a pig and not a turkey? that is dope.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

its that time again!.....again!

When you see the title you go straight to this paragraph as to find out what time it is for. like "its that time again" "for what?" "for spring" "dude, its fall" "it is now!" this may confuse people. but don't worry, I'm confused too you know. if you are NOT confused, go eat that leftover cake you were planning on eating today, you deserve it. if you already ate that cake, well, now you know why you did. if you have never had cake are missing out...on cake. whether or not that is a good or bad thing is for you to decide. OK back to time. lets say someone asks me what time it is. i could say what time it is at the time lets say 5:30, or time B. in a minute or less, the time changes. it is then 5:31. it has been a minute since this person asked the question. at this time the person no longer wonders about the time. they still think it is 5:30, or rather ironically, they just don't care anymore. i could then tell them a minute has gone by, and that it is 5:31, assuming they still are wondering what time it is. now lets abandon this dilemma altogether. now lets say they ask what time it is again. i would answer "now." it wouldn't be a lie, in fact it would be the time. but when i say now, as soon as i finish saying it, it is in the past. so instead of saying now i could say 10 seconds till now and pat that person on the back. i hope i have confused you in the most logical way possible. just remember this: that last time you said now is (now) in the past, so instead of saying now IS the time you should say now WAS the time...and don't deny it!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

the clubs

the clubs i have joined at my skool are airsofting, ukulele, and film club. i am pretty siked out about it. there was also a cool club but i don't know if its poser or wutever. some of my club ideas the school probably wouldn't approve. like the roof hopping club or the silent library. the roof hopping explains itself so i will describe silent library for ya. silent library is an original japanese tv show where some guys go into a library and pretend that they are going to study or something, but then they draw straws and the loser of the round has to pick out a nose hair or put a tarantula on their face and they have to be silent the whole time and can't laugh because its a library!!! its a hilarious show. they should also have an underwater fighting club. the way this is done is you put on an oxygen tank and metal weight shoes and basicly live in slow motion for a while. its pretty fun. i played it at my friend's pool only without the gear. there should be a firework and explosive making club too. free for all! there could also be a big bmob war at the end of the year. that would be fun. maybe i could make a club club. everyone gets a cave men style club to beat each other with, plus, it is every club in the the school rolled into one! so no same boring crap all the time!!! there i have it: the clubs...

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

aliens and anti-matter grenades

did my title scare you? good. it should. it was to get your attention. your not in detention. this is a crazy special edition of rhym. is is no crime. why? just because thats why. i am too lazy to play this game. and aliens and anti-matter grenades would be a sweet band name. this "poem" i am creating doesn't have rythm and it doesn't have a beat. ...neat! thats sweet! sweet neat! hey that rhymes! good times... coolio foolio. i need to get better cuz i feel sick. i better get bettet and it better be quick! that sounds like doctor seuss. all it needed was a who or moose. its hard to think of all this and make it rhyme. wow, i think i rhymed something with rhyme like the 5th time! i'm hungry i think i'll go eat an orange... crap. nothing rhymes with that. whoever finds a word that rhymes with orange get the prize. and the prize is me telling you how many times i said rhyme in this post. and if you don't i will never count how many times i said rhyme i annoy myself sometimes...

Wednesday, August 15, 2007


i have a few ideas that are just ideas that are just ideas... on is to make consesion dispensing firework. like at the fourth of july there would be a huge firework at the beginning of the show and before you know it, hot dogs would be on little parashoots falling into your hands. and they would be hot from the explosion... so yea, of course they would be cooked! and you know how car doors can be unlocked with that remote thing? that would be cool for real doors. or an ipod that's also a phone....wait thats invented right? it should be. that would be cool. why didn't anyone think of that? (haha) i think movie theaters should have room servise or a touch screen menue for each, each seat. or a soda machine (the one where you hold up the cup to the fountain) but instead of soda its popcorn. don't they have those somewhere? they should make a windchime that keeps salesmen and soliciters away. like a sound that only a salesman would hate. i think i'd like to have a pet elefant for a day. that's just something i needed to say. i think i will write more blogs with my ideas for the neer future. if you like one of them or you have an idea just let me know and i'll get to it. i know you want one of them firework/food dispensers! or ipod/phone...haha! i make me laugh.

Friday, August 10, 2007

applying fruit to... everything?...

when i first came up with the idea of fruit for this blog i searched "applying fruit to math" but i couldn't find anything philosophical. all i found was some kindergarten web page with puzzles like " how many apples can dance on a banana?....really?" so then i went and researched just fruit to find out if a tomato is a vegetable or not. then i learned the sad truth: its BOTH! it had the venn diagram to prove it and everything! in fact i think i remember someone asking that question and i said "both" just to be funny. but apparently its true. so is the truth funny? or is anything funny true? hmmm... i also saw something about seedless fruits. i thought "what? i thought they all had seeds?!" then i remember the seedless watermelon. so what i came up with was all those supernatural fruit cloning machine gene bending mechanism devise potion (or a s.f.c.m.g.b.m.d.p.) turned all those watermelons into vegetables? this is just confusing so i'm just going to cut to why i put a "?" in "everything?" i actually put some thought into that. everything includes fruit, so applying fruit to fruit would be the opposite of of what the answer already is...paradox! also everything includes vegetables. that's not really that complicated cause i've already figured it out. the answer is simply "regular tomato" not just tomato but regular tomato, because a tomato covers a field. like a tomato that has gone through the s.f.c.m.g.b.m.d.p.. that has never happened to a regular tomato. therefore the answer to applying fruit to veggies is "regular tomato" or even "radioactive watermelon process"(R.a.W.P.) thats what makes it so funny! and that, my friends, how scientist sound smart. they just make everything sound confusing and only understandable to them. i wouldn't consider myself much of a scientist...maybe half of one...i can just take logic and make anything sound confusing. or confusing things myself at least. i award this blog the blog with the most ...dots... and dedicate it to myself and everything i have been through. ta! ta!

Thursday, August 9, 2007

fireworks, bombs, and explosives

since the month of july is gone there is no fireworks till new years. not legally that is. i still have a $10 stash of those popper snaps in my room. explosives are getting better and more complex which is a satisfying thought to me. modifying fireworks to make them better is not as hard as it sound. like you can turn a flower bomb into a m16 in less than a minute. i will neither confirm nor deny why i know this so don't ask. i found a video on youtube and this danish or dutch kid makes and explosive that ignites from water. have you ever seen a liquid nitrogen bomb? those are cool. it looks like a nuke from outer space with the scientific white smoke and all that. i saw another video where they make a liquid nitrogen bomb underwater. there was a big splash and smoke everywhere. it was awesome. what i would like too see is a huge illegal firework show, because illegal fireworks are most likely the coolest looking kind. like a grenade strapped to a rocket. wouldn't that be cool? there are also some microwave tricks that are awesome to watch. if you microwave a lit match or even a sliced grape and put a glass over it you got yourself some nice home-made plasma. that's right plasma. you're probably thinking "what? grape plasma? whoever heard of such a thing?" apparently the grape completes a circuit when cut a certain way. the plasma just looks like pure electronic evil in pure electronic evil form. hey that would be a sweet band name, however if you take the initials of Pure Electronic Evil...well...ya got trouble. back to insane explosions. this one is probably the most illegal, most expensive, and most waist of fuel. if a gallon of gasoline is lit it looks like a nuke. not just a nuke. i mean a NUKE nuke. like a mushroom of unusual size...on fire.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

scout camp

so it has been about a week and i just got back from scofield scout camp. i got 5 merit badges there: soil and water conservation, geology, woodcarving, indian lore, and orienteering. they were all boring but very easy. our troop also earned the badenpowell award which is the hardest award to get. moving on... so some of you caring people may be still concerned about my sunburn from the river rafting trip(bless you all). well i started peeling for the first time in a while and it was kind of convenient when i had nothing to do. i would just be sitting there and look at my arm and start peeling. this may sound gross but you should try it sometime. there was a long jump contest and i went about 14 feet which is probably my longest. it rained a lot so it was so much more hard core when i jumped cuz i got so dirty. i also won the rootbeer chugging contest and i spilt like half of it on my shirt. all i need is about 3 more required merit badges and a project to get my eagle. i'm still thinking of what to do for my eagle project. i'm thinking of going to mexico or something like that. any suggestions?

Saturday, July 28, 2007

river rafting

ok. so hear is an update of what just happened in my life: i just got back from rafting the Colorado River in Moab. the rapids were kinda ghetto because they were really calm most of the time. it was like class 0.2 to like 0.5 if that means anything to you. there was a paddle boat and a row boat. i got to be in both and personally i like the row boat the best because only one person did all the work while everyone else just chilled out. i got a turn rowing and that was fun too. we also got to swim down the river a little bit, and that was awesome. we actually got to ride the current through some rapids and just let the current take us as we swam. "go with the flow" has a whole new meaning now, cuz the flo can be pretty dang sweet to be in. i got a pretty sick sunburn too. like on my whole body. on the way home we made a few stops and absolutely no vending machines were working! it made me so mad that i just walked in and bought a 24 pack of sierra mist. its under my bed right now. that'll show 'em. does anyone know what the best thing to put on a sunburn is? i'm in serious pain right now. winner gets a drink if they bring it to me. shipping info: pickup only.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

greg pattillo: the flute beatboxer

he can take any classical song and make it sound awesome to those that don't know, beatboxing is when you make sounds with a beat and rhythm that makes you sound like machine/robot/synthesizer. it is one thing to be good at beatboxing. it is another to play the flute and beatbox at the same time!!! greg pattillobeatbox aka flute beatboxer plays in the streets of new york city and has a master's degree in the flute. he is pretty dang sweet. he has a license to play in the subways and above ground which is one of the many ways he earns money to eat dinner. he is a master at improvising on his flute while beatboxing. you can watch his videos on the side to hear him play. you can also see more of his videos on some of my favorite videos are "spy tunes" where he plays james bond and mission imposible themes. "muppet wars" is the one where he plays the muppets theme and the darth vaderincredibly dope and cool. he also performs with his friend who has been playing the cello since he was 3 years old. i have heard that his CD came out in june but i am still trying to locate it. once i find it i will purchase it as soon as possible. greg pattillo is a very talented man.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

eyes, ears, mouth, and nose

I learned that there are no such thing as colors and that it is just the way light reflects and how our eyes take it in. thats crazy! I'm colorblind and people see things that i can't, but i can also see things other people can't. But if the majority of the people were colorblind, the regular people would be colorblind. you'd think your eye color would effect the way you see things. hearing is cool too. they way music can be put together. the difference between random jumbled notes and organized sound. is there a hearing blindness too? i don't mean deaf, i mean you hear the not A natural but it sounds like F sharp or something. or you hears something high pitched and it sounds low maybe. that would be weird. tasting something and eating is interesting too. what makes a food critic like a certain food, and another critic hate it, when it tastes exactly the same? smelling is the same way. what makes something smell bad or good? it seems it would be an opinion but everybody hates a fart and everybody loves the smell of flowers and fresh food! smelling is also the strongest sense that brings back a memory. sometimes music might be but music is a memory itself. smelling brings back many memories. that's probably why crack makes you high because it effects your brain so much. question about tasting: would you rather have poo flavored ice cream or ice cream flavored poo? let me rephrase that: ice cream that tastes like crap or crap that tastes like ice cream?

Thursday, July 12, 2007

if i were these animals...

cat: I would jump from roof to roof and if i miss i wouldn't have to worry because i'd always land on my feet. dog: i would hide behind a trash can or bush and wait for some people to walk down the street, then bark and scare the crap out of them, then run away. deer: while i'm in the woods and someone is trying to hunt me down, i sneak behind him, tackle him, and run away. dragonfly: speed as fast as i can and fly around people through the legs, over the head, and under the arms. hummingbird: fly into someones window just to confuse them. penguin: fish eating contests and ice sliding races. elephant: fill my trunk with water and spray people on a safari. fish: slowly take the bait off the hook and put some seaweed where the bait was for false hope. that'll teach him to mess with me! monkey: coconut wars!!! beaver: build a dam in front of a man made dam so it completely stops the water. horse: jump over a fence and save someone's life somehow. mouse: build tunnels that lead into various people's food storage. spider: make a web all around the doorway so when someone walks through it they completely go crazy. ...thats all i have...

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

How to get tall without money

I am going to be a freshman at hight school and i am currently 6+ feet tall. People ask me why i am and i truly don't know. my parents aren't really that tall so i am probably lucky. but if i'm not, and i'm just doing something to make me tall, here is some advise: 1) sleep a lot. i usually try to get at least 12 hours of sleep a day. on school days i mostly get 9. They say you grow more in your sleep. this probably has to do with gravity or something, that's my guess. or maybe the human body is so completely bored that it just simply has to do something, and all there is to do is get taller. 2) when you look at the nutrition facts, don't care! when i look at the label, i'm like "yea of course its fattening, but i never eat cheez nip super twinkys. but if you do eat a lot of fat foods, you've probably eaten enough that your body is used to it now, and it can work it out for itself. so go ahead and eat it. like homer simpson says "if it tastes good, it must be good for you."...homer simpson is an idiot know...its good advice! 3) drink a lot of water. some people say around 8 glasses a day. i say around 8 twenty-ounce nalgene bottles a day. drink about half your body weight in ounces. i don't know why i added water to my list. probably because 70% of your body is water and you can't survive without it. and if you can't survive, you can't get tall. 4) stop sucking in your gut! nobody cares really. all its going to do is make you stressed all the time, and stress is unhealthy, therefore, sucking in your gut is unhealthy. if you suck in your gut, you're eventually going to quit on it, and it is just going to make yourself look fatter than you were. if your a girl and people ask if you've gotten fat, slap em. if your a guy, say that you are getting ready to play heavy weight football. you can say that too girls if you want to look tough. i guess that last one was about weight loss and not about hight gaining... oh well. if this doesn't work and you want to spend money, just pay your doctor to make you taller. i know doctors can do this it has been done before. and if you don't want to spend that much money, pay your friend to brag to everyone else how tall you are. they'll believe it too, but they will just think your younger. wow this post is long! i thought it would be short because its about being tall...whatever. you don't have to take my word for it! ba-dat-dum! ding!

Monday, July 9, 2007


i kinda stole this one off my friend. he said allergies were "so gay" because instead of "taking this pill or else i will throw up my brains" it is "sometimes i get boogers on my shirt when i sneeze" (again, he said this, not me) I have just researched this subject and it actually can be as hardcore as "throwing up your brains." sometimes it can start out as a runny nose, and then slowly it can transform into a life threatening anaphylactic shock which causes death. woooOOOOooow dude!!! that could make a sweet movie plot. It could be called "The Allergy" that would sell!!! i have heard that some sneezes can go up to a few hundred miles per hour. some people would refer this as a "super power." allergies can have some sweet names too. like "anaphlaxis" or "hypersensitivity." and a blood allergy testing you can use is a "radioallergosorbent test" or "RAST" which i am considering to go into my slang vocabulary (dude that is so rast!). when you get skin testing to find out if you have allergies, they puncture some samples into your skin and it will cause full blown hive like a mosquito bite. this hive is called "wheel and flare." I would call an alternate to rock and roll as wheel and flare. or even a band name. so in conclusion, allergies can be "gay" if you make it look "gay." if you want it to be hardcore, go get you blood tested then go back to your friends and say "yea, i got a radioallergosorbent test, so basically i'm the coolest guy in the world" and they'll be all like "dude! that is so rast!!!" well, i got to go start writing that screenplay for "The Allergy" then i might sell it to M. night shawlamon or whatever that guy's name is.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

they might be giants

they might be giants aka tmbg is my favorite band. they are awesome. i like their music because it is more than one genre. no 2 songs are the same. i've listened to their new album "the else" many times on iTunes. it is an ok album. i mostly listen to the first 6 songs. they also are from my hometown: New York!!! so i have been to a few of their concerts. they have goofy songs, serious songs, and in between. they also are a unique band because they have a thing called "dial-a-song" where you call their number the answering machine picks up, and instead of "leave me a message" it is recordings of songs they have written. some of them are new, old, and even songs that have not come out yet or have been published yet. They have children and have kid's albums as well as adult albums. some people only like some of their songs and that is ok. if you are not familiar with tmbg they wrote the theme for the television show "Malcolm in the Middle" and they also wrote Higgleytown Heroes. They run themselves and have guests play at their concerts and write songs. Their names are John Flansburgh and John Linnell. John L plays the accordion and he rocks out with it and that is so awesome. And that is my review on tmbg. GO TMBG!!!


My last blog was on the serious side so now i am writing on toes. in my opinion, if you stare at your toes long enough, and think about it long enough, it is kinda strange. They seem kinda random. Fingers are the same way a little bit, they are kind of like tentacles. but they are useful. Toes, however, are used for balance, and would probably work just as good if they were webbed. webbed feet are weird too. but if everyone had webbed feet, it wouldn't be. hmmm... something to think about. there are few people who can control each individual toe. I have heard about a woman who couldn't move her hands so she used her feet to paint or sew or something like that. I'm sure that if you exercise your toes long enough you'll be able to control them like your fingers. Have i inspired you???

Friday, July 6, 2007


this post was inspired by the cheese section. My favorite inventor is Tomas Alva Edison. He said "Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration" After 2000 tries, he invented the perfect working light bulb. I recall another quote "One of life's biggest failures is when people don't realize how close they came to success before they give up." I agree 100 percent. if he gave up on the light bulb that would have a huge impact. It is like what Babe Ruth, the famous baseball player said "every strike brings me closer to my next home run" and Lou Gehrig, his teammate said,"you can do anything if you try hard enough." tell me what you know


so i researched on wikipedia about cheese. i admit i didn't read it the whole way through because i wasn't bored enough yet. i realize that anyone can research so i will just put in my opinion and try to add some humor. basically, it is a bacteria from milk. there are hundreds of cheeses and they can be aged. I think it originated where everything else pretty much does-Europe. Those people can be so smart. To me, the inventor of cheese must have been one of the coolest people ever, but i still think that the inventor of the two stick popsicle is cooler. next is tom edison, the light bulb inventor. so far i've stated that the coolest people ever are inventors. this has turned into an inventor's blog so back to cheese. to make cheese the milk must be separated into solids and liquids. or the curd and the whey. something fun i like to do is make butter out of cream by shaking a jar. i've only done this once but it was very amusing.


That last blog probably make you all think that i am a big nerd. this is not entirely true. this is my first time. i don't know what i will write about yet but i don't want it to be boring. if anyone want to give me ideas on what to write that will be great. it can be cheese, books, video games, music, flash photography, hats, movies, anything!!! I can research and write what i think about it. in fact, i think i WILL write about cheese...

airsoft gunning

for those of you that don't know, an airsoft gun is like a mild bb gun. the bb's are plastic instead of metal, and they are 6mm in diameter. there are many different types. most airsoft guns are spring powered. others are C02 powered and electronic powered. A decent gun fires from 275+ feet per second. you can fire at targets or have competitions with friends. i have a proud collection of airsoft guns that i use often. me and my friends play in the woods and in the streets. they are much cheaper than paintball witch is quite similar. i found good deals on ebay and they are very decent. any of you want to brag about your airsoft gun(s) go right ahead.