Wednesday, July 11, 2007

How to get tall without money

I am going to be a freshman at hight school and i am currently 6+ feet tall. People ask me why i am and i truly don't know. my parents aren't really that tall so i am probably lucky. but if i'm not, and i'm just doing something to make me tall, here is some advise: 1) sleep a lot. i usually try to get at least 12 hours of sleep a day. on school days i mostly get 9. They say you grow more in your sleep. this probably has to do with gravity or something, that's my guess. or maybe the human body is so completely bored that it just simply has to do something, and all there is to do is get taller. 2) when you look at the nutrition facts, don't care! when i look at the label, i'm like "yea of course its fattening, but i never eat cheez nip super twinkys. but if you do eat a lot of fat foods, you've probably eaten enough that your body is used to it now, and it can work it out for itself. so go ahead and eat it. like homer simpson says "if it tastes good, it must be good for you."...homer simpson is an idiot but...you know...its good advice! 3) drink a lot of water. some people say around 8 glasses a day. i say around 8 twenty-ounce nalgene bottles a day. drink about half your body weight in ounces. i don't know why i added water to my list. probably because 70% of your body is water and you can't survive without it. and if you can't survive, you can't get tall. 4) stop sucking in your gut! nobody cares really. all its going to do is make you stressed all the time, and stress is unhealthy, therefore, sucking in your gut is unhealthy. if you suck in your gut, you're eventually going to quit on it, and it is just going to make yourself look fatter than you were. if your a girl and people ask if you've gotten fat, slap em. if your a guy, say that you are getting ready to play heavy weight football. you can say that too girls if you want to look tough. i guess that last one was about weight loss and not about hight gaining... oh well. if this doesn't work and you want to spend money, just pay your doctor to make you taller. i know doctors can do this it has been done before. and if you don't want to spend that much money, pay your friend to brag to everyone else how tall you are. they'll believe it too, but they will just think your younger. wow this post is long! i thought it would be short because its about being tall...whatever. you don't have to take my word for it! ba-dat-dum! ding!

3 comments:

Veronica said...

Ironic moment: earlier this very day, your sister said to me "Parker is 6' 2"!" and I was astonished. I don't remember what we were talking about....oh, yeah, your blog and toes.

Parker said...

haha! thanks

nikki said...

Seriously... how did you get so tall? If it really is eating whatever you want and sleeping a lot, then I guess that would explain why I am not tall...